THEN to NOW Leadership Shift #3: Tough On Results, Tender On People
“Tough on results, tender on people” is simple to say but can be difficult to pull off: Hold your people to the highest standards while building meaningful and trusting relationships with them.
Former Secretary of State Colin Powell exemplified this perfectly with two of his leadership principles.
1. "The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership."
Aside from the importance of deeply and personally caring for your people, Powell points to an important challenge you must tackle as a leader. In many organizations, asking for help is seen as weakness or failure. The prevailing principle often is this: don’t bring me problems; bring me solutions. As a result, people often cover up their gaps, and results suffer.
Let me be clear: I am not advocating your people should act helplessly and run to you with every little trouble, but you do need to make yourself accessible and available for when your people need you. You need to show genuine concern for their challenges—even as you demand high standards.
2. "Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off."
Good leadership means being the responsible adult in the room and taking full ownership for business outcomes. This means that some people will get angry at your actions and decisions. It's inevitable and it comes with the territory of being a boss. If you make the tough decisions and confront the people who need to be confronted, you will piss some people off and you are doing your job well!
I often joke with my clients that upsetting everyone a little is a sign that you are doing a good job as a leader. Remember that by procrastinating on the difficult choices by trying not to get anyone mad, you'll simply ensure that the only people you'll wind up angering are the best producers on your team. Don’t fall into that trap!
Sometimes that means firing someone. When individuals break rules, take immoral or dangerous shortcuts, or repeatedly refuse to adhere to agreed norms, then a firing can be the most productive response. As a leader, you are always on stage and your people are observing your every move. They observe what you do, don’t do, say, don’t say. When a firing is a productive response on your part, your people will notice you taking swift action.
The power of pissing your people off is beautifully displayed in one of my favorite sports movies, Miracle, which tells the story of the 1980 U.S. men’s Olympic hockey team that beats the highly favored USSR team. Coach Herb Brooks pushes his team so hard that they truly hate him. He unites the team by making him the common enemy. It’s also very clear though that he deeply and personally cares about each of his players. Only with time do the players start to appreciate and value his approach to coaching. The moral is this: As a leader, you must work on building and deepening relationships while also accepting the reality that you are going to be hated at times.
What is one tough feedback have you not given that you need to give? By when will you do it?
My tough feedback to________is______________by__________
What is one tender on people act have you not performed that you want to perform (a compliment, a thank you note, an act of service, a gift?) By when will you do it?
My tender act______for_________by____________
